Banning the Beret

I came across an interesting article recently. The Army plans to ban the Beret. I laughed a little when I read that this was a "failed ten year experiment." Wow! Takes a long time for the Army to recognize failure, don't you think? http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110613/pl_afp/usmilitaryuniform

One reason the Beret must go: it is just too darn hot. You know...these warriors have the right stuff but they need to be cool to perform. I guess they're gonna keep them for dress uniforms but they'll use caps for field dress. You need a sun visor on your hat you see. I've seen those soldiers using sunglasses but no matter. The cap has a visor and is cooler.

Another great plus for losing the Beret...we save money. Yep, if my math is right we're gonna save about six bucks per soldier. Heck with that kind of savings we can buy'em two caps each. We're gonna have stacks of caps in our military. That'll just be swell! Joe Biden will be happy. He's the new sheriff in town and now we can all save money! http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/06/13/theres-new-sheriff-town

Busting the Beret will keep order in the Troops. Sure! The Green Berets, the Rangers and other special forces will all be happier because the unworthy ones won't be dressed in the Beret. They don't deserve it. They've not trained enough...screamed enough...or swam in enough mud to wear the esteemed Beret. So now all the special forces will be smiling as they jump out of helicopters to shoot it out with Al Qaeda.

By now you might have figured out that I like Berets. I have seven of them, all different colors too. Sure I wear caps also. I have many caps as well. But when I feel like starting a revolution, I break out the Beret and make like Che Guevara. I think Berets look formal and serious. I even wore a Beret with my academic regalia for many years. When you wear a Beret you look as though you mean business. I don't think the experiment was a failure really but then I don't know by what criteria they were basing their decision. My points are basically personal opinion.There's a right way and wrong ways to wear the Beret...did you know that? Of course this information becomes useless now. We're kissing the Beret goodbye.

Banning the Beret will save Joe Biden money, make the special forces happy, keep the Troops cooler and give the regular soldiers some much needed sun visors. They'll be safer in the parched lands of Iraq, Afghanistan, Lybia and the many other places we want to start wars. I heard a rumor that all of this got started because the Pakistani Secret Police found a discarded Beret on the Floor of Usama Bin Laden's bedroom. Maybe that was the last image he saw moving toward him in the darkness. Of course, I also heard they buried him at sea with a Black Beret on his head. Take a moment now and grieve with me as we bid the Beret farewell. I hope the Army never decides to experiment on me!